Feeding me, myself, and I

What are you feeding into?

When you are feeling down do you go straight to your comfort food to feed away those feelings? Is something as delicious as a tuna mayo sandwich what we really need to deal with those feelings?

Today has been one of those days where it seems like everything went wrong. From the moment I woke up from a very strange dream, I felt off and then as I worked I felt undervalued and useless. But yesterday, I was happy, full of confidence. When you think about it, it is strange how emotions can just fluctuate with no rational reason. Sometimes, we can feel that we are a victim of injustice, overlooked, overwhelmed, stressed… When you start to feel down, who or what do you turn to?

For me, it is food. Anytime I am upset I eat to make me feel better. You might be surprised to learn that strangely enough, I do not crave fruit or something healthy… no, this is the time I want to eat chocolate cake with whipped cream or pasta with a lot of cheese, a tuna mayo sandwich with a lot of mayo of course (which is the healthier alternative). If I’m getting takeout, I want to order a Domino’s pizza or Singapore rice with extra salt and pepper fried prawns or squid. Well, I think you get it! I go straight to comfort food that I then eat in front of a comfort TV series or an anime. But today as I was walking towards the kitchen to look for something to feed my disappointment, upsetude (if such a word exists), as I took the tins of tuna and was about to open one, I heard a voice that said “Has food become your idol? Why do you turn to food when you can turn to me?

What has become your idol? What or who do you turn to when you feel down or upset?

To be honest with you a part of me did not want to listen to God’s call, I wanted to eat... But l left the tinned fish and started to pray in my heavenly language, then I turned the TV on to watch a sermon from Joseph Prince that I had recorded. The first thing he said was about challenges being our bread and that we grow in adversity. When we face difficulties or challenges and our view shifts from the problem itself to God and the opportunity ahead for growth, our problems or difficulties become a source of nourishment. It is not the first time that I hear this sermon, but what are the odds that the sermon I recorded was this one. As I write this, I am still thinking about the tuna mayo sandwich but it’s no longer as a comfort craving – it’s just because I am hungry 😊

I have been fed by turning my eyes from me, why I am upset, to God. With the shift from me myself and I to God the Father, Christ the Son and the Holy Spirit, I started to feel amused by the silliness of the situation. In short, to say, sometimes things can be out of proportion just because we focus on ourselves, how we feel about an event or an action. Those feeling usually led to what I would call spiritual craving; craving to respond to the offense, to talk, to gossip, go for a run or... to eat... The temptation is to satisfy spiritual craving carnally when really we should be turning our heads and looking up to God to satiate it.

The psalmist said,

I sought the Lord, and he answered me;

he delivered me from all my fears.

Those who look to him are radiant;

their faces are never covered with shame

Psalm 34 verse 4 to 5

What about if we on our bad days seek the Lord and look to Him instead of seeking food or carnal gratification?

Now you may wonder if I ate the tuna mayo sandwich… No, I didn’t because it is too late to eat, they call it wisdom (it seems like I am growing up… becoming wiser).

I pray that when you feel overwhelmed, upset, or even depressed that you will seek the Lord and look to Him through the Scriptures, worship and prayers. And as you are doing so, I pray that those negative feelings dissipate as you meditate and ponder on God’s love for you.